What Happens When You Shift Your Thinking
Posted on March 09 2018
You know that feeling of not being fully settled? I had that feeling for a looooong time after we moved into our new place. After having lived there for over a year there were still things that needed to be done to transform our new place into our "Home".
Pictures needed a home, a headboard begged to be build and two antique mirrors wanted to be hung. Walking into the bedroom and seeing the mirrors perched against the floorboard I would instantly feel those little twinges of just not being settled in. Every so often I would check the chicken wire in the back of the mirrors. Maybe I was hoping the wires were gone? Surely you can't hang mirrors without chicken wire. But the wires were there - strong and accusingly robust, sticking out as if to prove rebelliously just how capable they were given half the chance...
Coming home one evening, after a long day at work, I walked into the bedroom to change and I immediately had this sense that something had changed. I looked around and there they were... my two gorgeous mirrors hanging from their rightful place - The Wall!! I stayed in that moment for a while longer. Everything felt so inviting, peaceful and calm...
One tiny shift- moving two objects 15 inches vertically to be exact was all it took to transform this space from a place of anxiety and discontent into an oasis of peace, flow and calm and one I swore in that moment I was never going to leave again (of course I did! There was no coffee pot... )
Now imagine for just a moment what a tiny shift in your thinking could do in your daily life.
The other day after our boot camp session one of my clients pulled me off to the side. Lately she had been straying off her clean eating meal plan. Was she self-sabotaging, she asked?
It was already late, and I could have gone the easy route and advised her on what I thought was going on but instead I asked her about her goals and why she thought she was self-sabotaging. She started to frown a bit and after a few seconds she lifted her head and I saw her eyes welling up. She told me she has this fear of failure that's keeping her from going towards her goal. She also confided that she knew what she was doing and felt guilty but also helpless.
Gently I asked her how she would feel if she knew there was no failure? By now tears where streaming down her face and with a cracked voice she began telling me that she no longer knew who she was, that she didn't know what to do with her life, and that she really had no idea who she was in the first place. Years of penned up feelings and emotions pooled in little puddles around her gym shoes.
I allowed her to stay in that space for a moment, to feel all those stuffed down feelings. After a few moments and plenty of tissues I asked her again what it would feel like if she knew she couldn't fail? If she knew there was no such thing as failure? She lifted her head and admitted how wonderful that felt if only for a moment.
Again, I allowed her to stay in that moment for a while to take in those feelings of immense relief. After a few moments she lifted her head again and a tentative smiled blossomed across her face. Within minutes she began laying out steps to get back on track with her eating and together we brainstormed a new a doable action plan for her.
As she walked out that evening I knew, that although not all of her gremlins were dispelled, she was well on her way.
One tiny shift.